Writings in a New Moon

Jul 24^th 2017 0.00 hours

New moon is here. I have been expecting it for a while. Unconsciously I knew it was going to be special somehow, although I didn’t imagine how. I buried some very special crystals on the ground last night and will leave them to take some grounding and loving energy from Mother Earth until they are ready for their purpose.

I woke up today at 6am with this huge, immense pain in my lower belly. My period arrived and to begin with, I was a bit resistant about it coming in a New Moon because in the last years it had been beautifully synchronized with the Full Moon.

I think with all the travels and time zone changes, etc., it started to move slowly until it turns out that it now begins in a New Moon. According to what I’ve read and heard, this should actually be the period of ovulation, so basically, I’m switched.

I had a strange dream where one of my best friends who has known me for about 25 years, expressed something about me that I did not agree with. I wanted her to change her opinion about me so I wrote her a message explaining her why it wasn’t like that and also making her feel guilty about it. When I woke up, I realized that the thoughts I was having while writing this message in my dream were actually confirming what my friend thought about me there. It got me thinking all day: Where does the dream stops and where does “reality” begins?

Despite the tough start of the day, the rest of it went quite well as I did my best to take it slowly and stress-free. But in the evening when coming home, I had a reminder. A reminder for something very important that I have to do, and was about to let it go and “forget” about it. I was ‘this close’ to ignore it and keep on with my comfort, avoiding any sort of chaos that could come certain decisions that are necessary for my own growth. It was a huge revelation, not because I didn’t know it, but because it came in the perfect moment.

I then had to be reminded that New Moons are Moons for New Beginnings. New Moons are an opportunity to grow, plant your seeds on very steady ground and take care of them until the time comes for them to bloom. New Moons are for INTENTIONS…

And yes, they are challenging too, because if you go through them unconsciously, then unconsciously you will plant unwanted seeds. Or you will be asleep during this very important manifestation time.

I sincerely ask today that whatever is inside of me that does not serve me anymore, find its way out… so that the wishes that are really deep in my heart can find their way in. ❤

Thank You to the souls and events that helped me open my eyes today in this special day, inspiring me to remain true to myself, no matter what.

Magic in a Full Moon day

23-Jan-2016

Today was the first Full Moon of the year. Quite a strong one. Whether you felt it or not, or better said, whether if you were conscious of its effects or not, this day has definitely created some movement. I like to believe movement is always for the best, although sometimes it comes with heavy baggage and lessons to be learned.

For me, it has been more of an “awakening” to stuff I was not probably seeing very clearly. I have been questioning myself lots of things, not too much looking for answers about myself, but more in regards to how my relationships with other people is at the moment. And strangely enough I’m not talking about friends, family or couple relationships, but those that happen with complete strangers: How am I in those kind of relationships? Which role I play or like to play? Which role I’m avoiding? Am I judgmental of their actions? Am I understanding? Am I protecting myself too much or am I approachable enough to others? Can others learn and take something nice out of a spare moment shared with me or am I not even close to transmit such a thing? What am I doing right, what am I doing wrong?

These couple of days have brought to me all sorts of questions and self-reflections about the role I’m playing right now in my life with people. I want this year to be based on people, not on things, not on places… on people. So today’s full moon has been unconsciously a great opportunity to reflect upon it.

I won’t be able to tell exactly the effects this moon has had over me, probably until I fully experiment those effects, but because it has been an important day for me and because I LOVE the mystic side of this beautiful big round star, I will share what I have learned of it today, from a couple of different sites.

“Many of us may feel like we’ve literally been thrown to the wolves during the month of January. The planetary energy has been rocky and the start to 2016 has been anything but smooth. We can thank Mercury retrograde coupled with some other intense planetary combinations for that.” http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/01/januarys-full-moon-throw-me-to-the-wolves-ill-come-back-to-lead-the-pack/

That explains my craaaazy start of January, as I have never had so many changes in my itinerary and my “perfectly planned” life as I’ve had in the last 2 weeks. But I’m all good. Thankfully the changes have been all for good (or this is how I’m choosing to take them) so I’ve been embracing the change quite well I have to say… and actually enjoying it!

I also found a beautiful Full Moon ritual that I followed step-by-step yesterday and I feel so so happy as I did it with all my heart and I actually received a nice message in my dream, at 3am in the morning. I woke up, wrote my dream before I fell back to sleep, and now its there on writing – Somehow it feels more real like that. I share this ritual in case you want to do it – I have read somewhere that the moon strong effect lasts for about 2 days (before and after) the actual Full Moon Day, so there is still time! Enjoy:)

First of all reflect upon the following:

“Themes of the January 23rd full moon in Leo are: -Standing apart. -Courage. -Letting go. -Seeing the unseen. -A wise and powerful woman becoming illuminated.”

“The Full Moon is always a time of illumination, and during these deep Mercury Retrograde days of revisiting, restructuring and rebuilding, it’s important that we take note of what we are seeing.

-Are we in alignment with our truth? -With our wisdom? -Do we honor our wisdom or do we defer to “experts?”

“Full Moon Ritual: Accessing Your Wisdom.

1) Take some time to bathe yourself in the moonlight. Allow yourself to simply be at rest and to soak up the rays of the Full Moon.

2) Use a fresh page in your journal to answer these questions:

-What am I the goddess of?  –What areas of life do I rule? –What is my deepest wisdom? –How can I apply my wisdom more widely? –Who can I share it with?

3) Place your writing on your altar or sacred space. Nearby, light a candle in a power color (red, orange or purple) and allow it to burn all the way down (if you can’t let it burn all the way, then snuff it out (rather than blowing out the flame). Keep lighting and snuffing out the candle until it has burned entirely.

4) Ask your guides for a dream message on how to more fully step into your power before you go to sleep. Upon waking, write down what you remember of your dream, even if it is just one tiny snippet.

Stand in your strength and honor your wisdom. Athena has your back.” http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/01/full-moon-in-leo-the-goddess-of-applied-wisdom/

And last but not least, some affirmations to make you feel strong, courageous, safe and with full potential in this beautiful and powerful day. My personal message from here was:

I am at home – I breathe – My heart is warm, its safe.

What’s yours? http://embodiedastrology.com/2016/01/22/leo-full-moon-horoscope-affirmations/

I finished my day joining a circle of beautiful yogis and doing a ritual to honour this day. We brought intentions & physical objects to cleanse and offer. We cleaned the space with nice energy, did a couple of moon salutations bringing energy inwards and then offering energy outwards. It finished with a closed-eye meditation, next to some people I’ve known for a while and whom I love, and some others who I just started to get to know but are teaching me so much already.

This day could not have ended better than the way it did: jumping into the water, the infinity pool that I have been overlooking for the last weeks, and floating face up, looking and contemplating the wonders of the sky.

Happy Full Moon 🙂

Namaste.

Sometimes we just have to let things go

2/May/2015

I have spent the last 3 days in Bangkok, which turned to be quite an interesting trip for me. I cannot say that I discovered too much of the city, actually, for the first time in my solo travels I felt a little bit lost, wandering around, not knowing what to do, where to go, who to hang out with (should I look for people? be by myself? none?!…). I have a feeling that I still cannot absorb what has happened in the last 2 months since the moment I decided to leave the life I knew and embark into a new life that I thought I knew better, but oh boy! little did I know… little did I know.

What happened these last 2 months in India? Nothing happened, and yet everything happened. Yes, I have been practicing yoga, although maybe not as much as I would have liked – but I guess what you do in your day and how you spend it, its a choice you make every day and its only up to ourselves, so I cannot blame anyone for that. Maybe my expectations where different too. I saw myself completely immerse into yoga, 24/7, walking out of India more open, with a more flexible body, maybe a tiny bit more enlightened (ha!), and the reality is that maybe all of this is true and I still can´t see it, but it is also true that India´s lifestyle, the heat, the smells, the lack of comforts, the language, the noise! (and the list can go on & on) made it a little bit harder that I thought it would be. Don´t get me wrong, I loved India and I am planning to go back, hopefully. It´s just…

Yes! expectations! I pictured myself waking up every day, meditating, doing my practice, studying the Yoga Sutras, chanting, doing pranayama, completely changing my diet, my lifestyle, doing cleansing techniques, wearing a bindi, learning from masters and understanding deeeeep stuff, and then of course applying all of these into my life, doing it every single day … for the rest of my days. Yeah, maybe I was asking a bit too much from myself…

Nevertheless, I was so sad and disappointed to discover that I was not doing all those things… or that I would ever be able to. Maybe I was being naive believing that one can be that kind of yogi. Maybe it no longer exists. Maybe this plan would have worked in my previous existence, a few lives ago. But Today… ! I mean, when would one have time to teach? to meet people? to spend time with family, with friends, with our loved ones? to travel? to work? to cook? (yeah, ok I don´t cook), but even to enjoy the amazing mundane pleasures of life every once in a while…? it´s valid, right?

…. Ok, I am having a crisis… but I have calmed down… So now I guess my expectations will have to adapt. And that´s ok. So I will start over.

My new dream today is to live a normal, modern life and still be a truly dedicated and inspiring yogi, helping others, transmitting whatever I am able to transmit (positive stuff I hope), show people this amazing path which is yoga and be part of their journey, learn from them, give love, receive love, evolve every day. I would love to be able to do all of that and more without being taken for a joke or for not being good enough… just because I´m not leaving everything behind me, just because I am not “one of those” yogis.

(pause)

So yes, Bangkok wasn´t necessarily a leisure trip for me. It was more of a cushion, a pause, a time of reflection, of questioning… What am I doing? Where am I going? What I´m doing now is bringing me closer to where I want to be? What is next in my path, in my future? (which also seems to be the #1 favourite of my family). I have been planning and re-planning for the last days, trying to make things work perfectly, thinking too much, going around and around in my head.

I know, I have to stop. Things don´t get solved by over-thinking them, instead the path keep getting blurrier the more you look at it. It´s just the way it is. And inside of me I know that I just have to let go, trust and have faith with all my heart that answers will come when I am ready, when it is the right time…

4/May/2015 … (continuation)

I am in Koh Samui now. I am in paradise, writing in front of the swimming pool with tremendous views of the sea, feeling completely at peace, listening to the birds and the sound of water moving, ahhh that amazing sound. Here I can even hear the wind, enjoy the sun on my skin, take energy from it and finally feel like I am coming back to being “me” again.

I know this is temporary, and that even though I am here fully dedicated to yoga for the next month assisting my wonderful teachers, I will have to go back to reality and confront whatever I left in pause. But I don´t want to think about the future. Here I feel at peace, I feel blessed and happy to have my family in my life, my friends and my teachers. Happy to be always surrounded by people who I deeply deeply love, and who love me back and accept me as I am, wherever in my path I might be. People who believe in me and who don´t care how do I choose to live my life. They still love me. They see me with kindness, they guide me and yet they are humble enough to let themselves be guided.

I am truly blessed, we all are. And I have now decided that I won´t pretend to be someone I am not. I am not a monk or a Buddhist or an Indian yogi from the ancient times. There is so many people I could compare myself to, so many people who I admire. But no. I am who I am. And you have to be who you are in this world, and be happy with it, share as much as you can from it, learn as much as you can from it.

“Who Am I?” I feel that trying to put a name to it would just be a matter of status, of identity, of ego, of separation… Right now the only words I can relate to and that I have been constantly repeating to myself are:

I AM HERE. I AM NOW.

And it feels good:)

P.S. Opening my 2nd travel envelope, meant to be used only in emergencies, and it reads:

– “Sometimes we just have to let things go” –