28/Jul/15
Its 5.00 am in the morning and I haven’t been able to catch any sleep at all. I am in Greece, in the beautiful Greece trying to write a different ending to a love story that begun 2 and a half years ago. I don’t really know if this will be an ending though, we both don’t know – I think at least for this life it will. I also don’t know what it is what brought me here again. We are disastrous together, yet at the same time magic happens around us every time we are close to each other. The sky, the stars, the moon… they talk to us, they find a way to communicate with us and make us communicate between each other. I know it sounds ridiculous and unreal, but it is true.
The first time, the warmest sun brought us together in the most magical day in the city of Athens, on top of Philopappou Hill, where all the forces of the universe where working together, moving us in the direction where we will finally meet for the first time, once again.
The second time, a cold spring in London was easily bearable with the warmth that only a happy heart can bring, an unforgettable week which I can call without a doubt one of the bests in my life.
The third time, the stars where dancing above us in the beautiful Mylos in a way that I have never seen before. I sometimes think they were making fun of us, of our nonsense fights… telling us to wake up! to look at the important things and forget the unimportant.
The fourth time, exactly now, the moon witnesses our encounter, shining brightly and beautifully, illuminating Salamina’s sea and finding us sitting there, on a bench in front of the clearest waters I have ever seen, where even at night I could see the stones underneath.
This greek man and I… The same force that brought us together so strongly at the beginning is the same force that probably won’t let us remain this way. I can see this a little bit clearer now, but I don’t care. We don’t care. What we care about is that every time it happens, every time we meet, the moment is perfect – messy, but perfect. It’s funny because sometimes it seems like we were creatures from different species, two different worlds, cultures, beliefs, passions, language, everything. But no matter how many differences and opposite things I want to find between us, there is one important thing – the only important thing that matters, which is that we are the same soul, exactly the same, broken up into two, sent to different places and periods of time, and who where destined to meet again to change each other’s life forever and to be presented by the most scariest thing of all: A mirror – our own reflection in the other, our fears and desires, the worst of us (well, the worst of me at least), everything that most people are not able to see in us, that exactly is what we show to each other, inevitably, E V E R Y time.
However, humans are a weird race. We are prisoners, prisoners of ourselves. We act like if we have our heart inside a cell, and like that no one can live life fully. We are not able to enjoy ever second of the life we were granted because we don’t dare to unlock this cell, we don’t know how to, we are too scared – scared of showing who we really are to the world, scared of doing something that might not fit into the frame of other people’s mind or way of living.
How can I explain? … I will borrow a little story and it goes like this: Imagine that 2 strangers are sitting right now on this very same bench and they want to get to know each other better, BUT they have this picture of themselves, which they have created, and they are so scared to let this picture be destroyed in the eyes of the one sitting next to them, too scared to let them see that the picture has a little scratch, or maybe two, and that it may not be repairable. And instead of turning to each other saying: “Hello, nice to meet you, this is who I am”, they say “Hello, nice to meet you… wait a moment please” while they take their “perfect” pictures out from their pockets and show it to each other…
Yes, I am guilty too. And the worst is that I not only carry my own pictures but also pictures of how I think others should be 😦 Yes, I have several times played the role of the character from this unfortunate story that came from the mouth and the heart of a man who sees who I am and loves me, despite having showed him the very worst of me, the darkest side of my personality – that which even I cant accept of myself – but he does, because he doesn’t give a damn about pictures – he is beyond that.
Dr. Brian Weiss says that when two soul mates are reunited together for many lifetimes, the feelings and emotions between them can be SO intense that it might just be too much to take. They come to teach you probably the most important lessons of your life, but that doesn’t mean that you are destined to stay together, and exactly that is the most difficult thing to accept, because we have learned to be attached – but attachment is only human, because the soul knows when the lessons have been learnt and when its time to keep moving.
I ask the universe to set me free – I want to set myself free. Only then I will finally start living my life… Pictureless.
lifeyesbylaura 