Mysore, Karnataka, India. 17th of January 2019.
I’m back in India, after 9 months away. So much can happen in 9 months… the cycle of birth. Some of these months felt like I’ve been in incubation and now I’m coming out to the world again. I hope this is like a re-birth along with this new year, which according to numerology it’s a #1 for me – beginnings.
It’s not that easy to admit, but I’ve more or less taken a 9 month break from yoga, which is the most I’ve gone without it. I did bits here and there, but nothing constant and nothing that lasted more than 1 hour per week, sometimes per month. It has been mostly Yin. And Yin in every sense: Yin yoga, Yin life, Yin everything. Except with the eating, that was pretty much Yang 😅.
I have been here for a week, but it seems much longer than that. I am enjoying the non-doing, which is very common here (if you want). You can be as busy as you want to be with all the courses and classes offered, but this time it’s just the coming back to my practice slowly, and working again on being present.
This place is a big mirror for me which shows me where I am. Last year I was sooo present. This time, it’s like I’m here but I’m not. I’m here but I’m in the future, worrying about what’s next for me and what do I want to do with my life. I don’t want to be a hippie of the world my whole life. I love traveling and I don’t think I’ll ever stop but I’m starting to miss a home of my own, somewhere to go back to and feel like: ahhhhh, THIS.
Mysore this time is different for me, it always is. And I had doubts my first days here whether if coming was a good idea or not. My friend Courtney’s answer to this was: India is never a mistake!! And she is right. Whether if you have a tough time or a wonderful one, there is always a lesson in here. It’s such a compassionate place; it gives you so much. Once, some Indian guy on the streets asked my friend why did she come here for? “To learn yoga? meditation?” After the hundredth time she’d probably been asked that, she reluctantly and unimpressed said yes. And he then said: you westerners, you all come and you take the yoga, you take the meditation, you take the ayurveda, you take India and you bring it all back to your country… (Ouch) He is right too.
My mind keeps rambling… “What am I doing here again?”, “I shouldn’t come back next year”, “Why am I doing asanas for?”, “Why meditation?”, “Why all of this?”. I know India creates in me sometimes a kind of Love/Hate relationship, and I know too that I’ve just been here for a week, so I’m just being patient and trying to relax. And whatever is meant to happen this time, will happen. Although…
lifeyesbylaura 